Asking questions

The more information I have, the easier I find it to get my head around all this.  I have been surprisingly calm waiting for the biopsy results.

Dr S did say to call him anytime I had any questions.  So this morning I asked him the list of questions I’ve been building up over the last day or so.

I know you are going to call me, but do you have the results of the biopsy yet?

They may not be ready by Tuesday, he said.  There’s a fair bit involved and it takes time.  I was thinking of you and we could make an appointment at my Balmain offices on Thursday when the results will definitely be back and which will also much easier for you.  Yes, I agreed, my husband can also come then, but I still really want you to call when you have the results.  Of course.

I still have a loss of sensation, a kind of pins and needles in my left half of my lower lip.  Should that have gone away?  Will it go away?

That is normal, he said.  But it may not go away.  It depends on the pathology and the surgery.  If the tumour is benign aggressive and wrapped around the nerve, then we may need to remove it.  You will get used to it and adapt, he assured me.

I have run out of panadeine forte.  What should I take for the pain?

Two panadol to start, then two nurofen if that is not enough.  Two of each at the same time is fine.  I’d want you to come off the panadeine forte in any case, he said.

I am feeling very tired.  Is that related to the panadeine forte?  Will I feel better on panadol and nurofen?

Yes, the panadeine forte and the anaesthesia from the surgery.  You will probably feel better.

I know you are now thinking it is less likely to be a unicystic ameloblastoma.  I know you can’t say until the biopsy results, but it just helps me to have an idea of the worst case scenario?

I don’t want you to worry.  [etc etc then finally]  The worst case is ameloblastoma, not the unicystic type.  Ah, I said, that is what I had already thought.  And that means resection, bone grafts, etc.  Yes, he said, but we don’t know until we have the biopsy results.

Yes, I don’t like to hear my thinking confirmed.  But I have already read a few ameloblastoma blogs (already linked in on my blogroll) and I have already joined the yahoo ameloblastoma support group.  There’s a facebook page too that Tina from the Renewing Strength blog has set up that I might join.  All this to say that I have a fairly good idea of what might be in store for me.

And I didn’t burst into tears.  Darren gave me a big hug though.

I have only had three bouts of tears so far.  First, telling people in those first raw few days after they found the tumour.

Second, before and during getting the cannula inserted for my general anaesthetic.  (The lovely Dr D held my hand and said perhaps they could get me something calmative for me next time.  Yes, please.)

Third, when my lovely neighbour and husband organised a little present for me: Aesop “Breathless” scented oil and a few other bits and pieces.  Then I balled.  And again on telling my mum about it.  Little presents like that mean so much.  Thinking of it is making the tears well up again now, so enough of this.

Time to start my day.