In the first few days, it was still raw and I cried each and every time I told someone.
That was easier in a way. Now I struggle to find the right way to tell people. The right time. The right words. Even when I do manage to get the words out, it feels so blunt. And sometimes I am just fine and sometimes I cry.
This blog has helped, especially in sparing me from sounding like a broken record. A friend who had a blog for a similar purpose described it precisely:
I found the blog worked for me both as an outlet, but also a way of indeed informing everyone at once. So I told all our friends about it and posted a link to each update on Facebook and encouraged people to share it with anyone else they thought might be interested. It really took away much of the informing and talking about it. It allowed our friends to talk to us with the basic knowledge already there. I actually think it made our friends much more involved in the whole journey and it strengthened some friendships because people knew how we were feeling and were able to reach out ‘appropriately’ (i.e. With practical help or emotional support, depending on what your blogs indicate you need most).
And sometimes I’ve been spared by a wonderful friend doing the hard bit for me. Thanks Mel.
The words and offers of support have meant so much to me. Blog comments too. Some sweet texts and emails have reduced me to tears. And the beautiful care package this morning was just overwhelming. You name it – soups, gelato, magazines, tea, flowers, candle – just the perfect amount of pampering.
With time, I might even get better at accepting the offers of help too.
For now, I need to go hug teddy bears with my baby. You can’t beat that.